


The truth comes out

by dshep33



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x19, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Sam Ships It, about damn time these two idiots talked, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 06:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10758849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dshep33/pseuds/dshep33
Summary: 12x19 coda bc I'm just... done with these two tbh





	The truth comes out

They stumbled into the bunker the morning after Cas knocked them out at the park. The drive home wasn’t long, but the tension and silent fury they both held made it seem like an eternity. Sam wandered aimlessly off in the general direction of his room, while dean passed out right on the couch. He was out and snoring before Sam even made it to the hallway door.

An undetermined amount of time later, Dean awoke to the sound of what sounded like a cannon going off to his slumbering brain. It startled him awake, and when he realized it was the front door opening, he was instantly on the defensive. Moving as silent as a stalking panther, he slipped in gun out of his waistband and crept toward the entry hall. The sigh of a familiar voice and the flashing glance of a tan trench-coat did nothing to ease his tension. If anything, the rage it inspired in his bosom only made it worse.

He waited until Castiel was almost through the doorway he stood behind, then in a startling rush he rounded the bend and buried the barrel of his pistol straight into the angel's ribcage. Cas stumbled backward in surprise, a muttered "what the-" escaping his lips before comprehension dawned on him. 

Dean grabbed his lapel and, even though he knew it was useless against a messenger from Heaven, shoved the gun up under his chin. With a voice that was hardly more than a growl, he bit out "And what the _hell_ do _you_ think you're doing back here?"

"Dean, let me-" Cas started out, but he wasn't able to finish his sentence before Dean's fist connected with his jaw bone. 

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are, Castiel?" Dean mumbled murderously. "Disappearing for months, showing up for an _hour_ only to steal the most valuable gun in existence, apologizing as if you _meant_ it, and then trouncing off with Lucifer's whore? What has gotten into you?" He trembled with the force of his anger, but his hands remained fixed on the coat.

"Do you care?" The narrow-eyed angel spat back. "Do you care to listen to my reasoning or are you just going to supplant any information I give you with your own delusions?" Another punch, this time to his cheek bone, dangerously close to his temple.

"Do I _care?_ Did you _really_ just ask that?" Dean let go of him and paced away, a disbelieving smile contorting his face. "You must be out of your damn mind if you don't think I care." 

"Then listen to me." 

"Fine. I'll listen. Start talkin', and talk _fast_ before I knock your ass out."

"... I went to Heaven because I thought the angels could help. You and me and Sam and even your _mother_ fought Ramiel together and he still almost managed to kill one of us. Without Crowley of all people, I'd be dead. I didn't want to go through that again with Dagon. I went to the angels because I thought with the power of Heaven behind me, I couldn't _possibly_ lose against her. But I was wrong." He tried to keep his voice soft, to assuage Dean's anger. It didn't dispel it, but at least kept the man's fists from colliding with Cas's face.

"Big shocker there."

"I came back _for_ the colt. Obviously. But that _doesn't_ mean our conversation wasn't sincere. I _am_ sorry for running off on you. It was in your best interests. Getting rid of Lucifer's child was my top priority. But I couldn't risk losing _you_. Not again. I wanted to keep you away from Dagon for as long as possible; to keep you safe."

"Cas we've been over this. We're not _gonna_ be safe in this life. It's impossible." Dean refused to make eye contact. He refused to even turn in Cas's general direction.

"But that doesn't mean you have to charge headlong into every danger, Dean." 

"So _what_? Sam and I should just sit back and let you handle everything from now on?"

"No."

Dean snorted and shook his head. "Where even is Kelly right now? Did you kill her? Is the _baby_ at least dealt with?"

"Kelly is... safe. And no. The baby is fine. She's going to give birth sometime within the next week or so, if my calculations are correct. And the baby, Dean... I've seen it. I've _felt_ it. It doesn't harbor any of its father's malice. It's pure. Like a soul - like grace. It's _good_. It's _innocent_."

"Yeah, for now!" Dean shouted at him. "But so was Amara when she was wearing a diaper, and then _she_ started eating people's damn _souls_! What is this monstrosity going to do, huh? We had a chance at ending this once and for all. We could have at least turned the baby fully _human_ but you had to come in guns blazing, _literally_ , and ruin the entire God-damn thing! And you couldn't even get rid of the bitch to boot. As a matter of fact, you _let_ her get away. You went _with_ her. You sacrificed us, your friends, your _family_ , all for some chick and the apocalypse baking in her oven! Why, Cas? What did she give you that we never have? What made her more appealing then coming home with _us_?"

"She made me feel wanted." Cas stated simply. "I didn't feel like I needed to _do_ anything for her. Or the baby, for that matter." His arms were crossed over his chest, and he leaned against the table with his legs crossed - typical unwelcoming posture. "I always feel like I'm expected to do something for you. I always feel _useless_ around you, around Sam. All I ever want is to make you happy, Dean. But between making you happy and keeping you _alive,_ I will _always_ go with the latter."

"Why?" The question, although simple, simultaneously addressed every statement the angel just made.

Cas rolled his eyes to Heaven and in a flourish uncrossed his arms and legs and walked in a short circle. "Because I love you, that's _why!_ " He thundered. As his voice echoed down the empty halls, the energy and the frustration drained out of him and left an exhausted, defeated husk behind. "I love you." He said, softer." And a world without you in it isn't a world I want to be a part of." He braced himself against a chair, refusing to look up anymore.

Dean's brow furrowed and he blinked several times in confusion. "What?" He whispered.

Cas sighed and closed his tear-filled eyes. "Ever since I pulled your tight little ass out of Hell, I've loved you, Dean." He buried his face in his hands, shaking with quiet sadness. "I can't lose you. Not again. _Never_ again. I can handle you being mad at me. I can handle the world ending. But I can't handle you dying. That's... that's worse."

As he listened, Dean's anger rushed out of him. In the place of anxiety and choler, longing and an insatiable desire to comfort set in. Suddenly, the argument was over. Dean walked over to the hunched angel and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing him upright. After a wordless glance between them, they embraced tighter then they ever did before. 

Long they stood there, unmoving, wrapped together in their slightly suffocating embrace. They simply stood, swaying back and forth gently, inhaling each other's scents and quietly rejoicing in the other's (temporary) safety.

After five full minutes of silence, Dean opened his eyes and drew back a little - just enough to allow him to look the angel in the eyes. "I love you too." He said simply, and with a small smile he planted a soft, small kiss on Cas's lips. "And I'm sorry."

Their foreheads knocked together, and Dean could feel the seraph's brow furrow against his. "For what?"

"You're really gonna make me list off everything? Fine. Not listening to you more, not trusting more, not communicating well, not giving you more freedom, not -"

"Dean."

"Yeah?"

"It's alright. I forgive you." Cas kissed him back, equally gentle, equally quick.

"It's not alright but... okay." He smiled and interlaced the fingers of his right hand with Cas's left. "C'mon, let's go... lie down, or something. When you flipped the switch on Sam and I last night it really wiped us of any energy."

"Sorry."

"S'okay."

They slept on the couch, with Cas resting his head on Dean's chest. They were fully clothed, but neither of them seemed to care. In that moment, everything was alright. Dagon was dead, no one had heard from Lucifer or Crowley in ages, and Kelly... she could wait. Sam was okay, mom was probably off with that weird-ass Ketch dude, but they had just talked to her on the phone the day before yesterday, so she was probably fine. Everything was okay.

 

Sam wandered through sometime later, bleary-eyed and wearing nothing but pajama bottoms, but when he saw the scene on the couch he smiled. 

"Bout time those idiots talked." He mumbled to himself as he walked into the kitchen. He brought out three beers, set two on the coffee table in front of the couple, and took a long swig off of his own as he blundered away down the hall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
